A Moment That Stopped Me in My Tracks
The other day, I was sitting at my desk trying to figure out what to get my assistant for the holidays. I ran through the usual questions: What would she like? What have I given her before? What feels thoughtful? Naturally, my kids got involved. We all love Rency. She’s part of our family. And when someone becomes part of your heart, you want the gift to reflect that sentiment.
So, I called over my middle son, Rohan, for help. He leaned over my shoulder as I scrolled through options on my laptop. I must’ve asked something like, “Do you think she’d like this?” Without missing a beat, he replied:
“Mom, I’m here to provide you with ideas. I’m not here to give you the answer. My goal is just to help you think.”
And just like that, the world slowed down for a second. I looked at him, smiled, and hugged him. When did this kid turn into a leader?
That mindset: not solving the problem for me, but supporting the thinking, is something we talk about constantly in leadership, but rarely model as well as we think.
Leadership Isn’t About Having the Answers
Too often, we confuse leadership with control. We assume we must be the one with the answer. We jump in, solve, and move on. It feels efficient, but it’s short-sighted. Because when we’re always handing out answers, we’re not developing decision-makers, we’re developing dependencies.
Real leadership isn’t about being the hero; it’s about being the guide. If we’ve hired well, if we’re surrounded by people who know their craft and care deeply about the work, then our job is to create space for their ideas. Our role is to ask better questions, not rush to give faster answers.
That doesn’t remove our responsibility: approvals, budgets, and people decisions still land on our desk. But far too often, we default to directing when we should be developing.
So, here’s the question I’m asking myself lately:
If someone on my team came to me with a challenge, and I withheld the answer, would they still know how to move forward?
If the answer is no, we’ve got work to do.
If the answer is yes, then maybe we’re finally building a culture that doesn’t revolve around one person at the center.
I don’t want to be the sun that everything orbits around. I want to be the hub that holds the wheel steady while the spokes spin on their own: even when one is a little off.
The Best Gift We Can Give as Leaders
This year, I know exactly what I want for Christmas:
- A leadership team that brings ideas, not problems.
- A team that understands their KPIs and owns their outcomes.
- A team that knows when to consult and when to just run with it.
We get what we allow. If we allow a culture where everything runs through us, then that’s exactly what we’ll get: an overloaded inbox, an exhausted leadership muscle, and a bench of people waiting for instructions instead of taking initiative.
But if we resist that impulse: if we pause, ask, encourage, and listen, we get something far more valuable: a team that leads.
Sometimes, the best gift you can give isn’t an answer.
It’s the opportunity not to have one: just the space to think, to contribute, and to grow.
