Today, I was sitting in the car with Rency, my assistant, as we drove to our new office. She’s visiting from the Philippines to help build out the new IT By Design facility we just purchased, and there’s a lot of construction happening. We’re all excited, but it’s also a lot of work. So, Rency came over to help support and make sure everything gets done.
As we were about to leave the house, Sunny got home from the gym. He pulled me aside, gave me a big hug, and we chatted a little about his workout and how he was doing. When I got back in the car, Rency asked what we were talking about—if I didn’t mind sharing. She actually thought we might have been praying. I laughed and told her, “We just like to chat about different things.”
She then mentioned how sometimes Sunny’s EAs ask if the two of us even talk. Since they manage his schedule so closely, I often defer to them when planning something for him. So, the question came up—do we ever actually talk?
I told her that as a married couple who has been working together for 22 years, yes, we talk—but during our private time, it’s personal talk. Over the last 25 years, we’ve learned that our personal time is sacred. We recently did a podcast with Ann Sheu about relationships and how couples who work together can make it last. For us, the key has been understanding the fine line between personal time and work time.
Once we finish work and sit down for dinner, that’s it—no more work talk. I’m not asking about schedules. I’m not checking what needs to be done. That’s our time. It’s husband-and-wife time. It’s mom-and-dad time. It took us years to figure out this secret: the balance between professional and personal life.
In our industry, a lot of people work together. And unfortunately, a lot of relationships don’t make it because they work together. Whether you’re in an MSP or any other business, working with your spouse is stressful.
So, what did we share with Ann on the podcast that we can share with all of you?
1. Understand your unique abilities.
I’m good at certain things. Sunny is good at others. We need to recognize that balance and respect each person’s role.
2. Know the fine line between work time and personal time—and don’t cross it.
If we ever start slipping into work talk during personal time, we remind each other to stop and save it for later. We make sure to savor the moments we have together.
3. Define clear roles and responsibilities at work.
And respect those boundaries.
4. You both can’t lead everything all the time.
Understanding who’s leading what and when is critical. The other person has to be willing to take a step back and trust that their partner has the best interests at heart.
We had such a great time doing this podcast, and we’re excited to share it with all of you. (Link below!)
They say that with age comes wisdom—and when it comes to relationships, I think that’s true. Sunny and I have definitely gotten wiser about how we handle each other. We recognize when one of us is having a moment and know when to take a step back.
Being good leaders also means having safe critics—people who tell you when you’re right, when you’re wrong, and who have your best interests at heart. We have to be that for each other, and sometimes it’s not easy. Knowing the right time and place, understanding each other’s moods, respecting private time, carving out alone time, and taking trips—just the two of us—to rest, reboot, and replenish. These are the keys to staying healthy together.
So, to all the couples working together: you can do it. In fact, it can be a winning combination because you have two people who truly care about the success of the company. But the biggest challenge? Ego. That’s what often breaks down walls. Who’s leading whom?
Well, if you clearly define each person’s area of expertise, you’ll find a harmonious balance.
Respect work time for work and home time for home. Have a clear cutoff.
When you find that balance and practice gratitude for each other, you’ll be unstoppable—partners in crime in both love and life.
