I know we’re always raised in our homes to try to be our best. Sometimes, our parents—out of love—push us a little too hard because they want us to excel. Now, as a parent myself, I understand that. I push my children because I think they are all geniuses. They have so much greatness in them, and I want them to see their full potential.
But never once do I ask them to be perfect. I don’t think any of us can be perfect.
So why is it that, as women, we try so hard to be perfect? We try to be perfect moms. We do our best at work. We want to be the perfect wife, the perfect daughter-in-law. When did perfection become the goal?
I’ve come to realize that perfection is not what I want. I adore every small detail about me. I don’t mind missing a soccer match once. We all have our own priorities, and each woman is unique. Some women place a high value on attending soccer practices, participating in Girl Scout activities, and spending as much time as they can with their children. They’re content with their role at work and have been in the same position for ten years. That’s great for them.
For me, my priority was being home for dinner with my kids. Yes, I needed my mother-in-law’s help to raise them—I was busy building a business. During that time, I taught my kids how to cook, clean, and be self-sufficient so they could support their mom when she got home from work. I made time for swimming classes on Saturdays and made sure they went to tutoring. I didn’t need to be perfect. I was a mom who had a career, and I was willing to ask for help.
What bothers me most is when I hear women beat themselves up over missing a game or not being “perfect” for their children. Your kids aren’t asking for perfection. They’re asking for presence. They want hugs when they need them. They need you to be emotionally available. If you make mistakes, that’s okay—we’re all human.
Lord knows I’ve made plenty with our oldest, Sahib. I always call him the guinea pig—he taught us how to be good parents. I’m not going to be the perfect wife. I will make mistakes. There will be weekends when we order takeout for dinner. I am by no means the perfect daughter-in-law or the perfect business partner.
I am flawed. And I am beautiful because I am flawed.
For years, I tried to be perfect. I tried to be everything for everyone. I wanted my in-laws to be proud of me. I wanted to be liked. I wanted to show up in our social circles, be there for my kids, and make sure I was always at my best. And I was exhausted.
In trying to be everything for others, I forgot to be something for myself.
And my health took a toll because of it. My cortisol levels were through the roof. My body was literally shutting down. That’s when I learned—I don’t need to be perfect. I need to be me. I need to do my best and know that it is enough.
So, stop aiming for perfection. There’s no such thing. Once you reach one goal, there will always be another, harder one. Perfection is a moving target, one that only exists in your mind.
Your kids will be okay. They’re resilient. Your husband—if he’s a true partner—will understand and support you.
You will never be perfect. Let’s say that again: You will never be perfect. And you don’t want to be perfect.
You need to be you.
As we celebrate Women’s Day this week, I want all my fellow women to know—you are beautiful just as you are. Yes, we should always be growing, always striving to be better versions of ourselves. But that growth should come from within, from an internal desire—not from external pressures. Sometimes, the biggest burden we carry is the one we place on ourselves.
So, give yourself some grace. Be kind to yourself. Know that you are beautiful inside and out. We all have opportunities to grow, and we should embrace them, but there is no need to be perfect. The goal is simply to always be working toward being better.
You are beautiful—not despite your imperfections, but because of them.
