Leadership is a privilege, not a title, not a rank, not a reward for putting in the years. A privilege, and if you’re leading well, you feel the weight of it every single day.
I remember the response I heard from Richard, a team member of Ed Bastian, CEO of Delta, when he was asked what it was like to be led by Ed. Richard’s answer wasn’t about strategy or results. It was about feeling seen, developed, and trusted. That’s the kind of leader Ed has built himself into over decades, and it’s the kind of leadership that only comes when you understand that the role was never really about you.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, because Sunny and I just finished 23 years of building ITBD together, 21 of those side by side running the company. We’ve been married 27 years, just had our anniversary, and I’ll tell you honestly, there is a deep sense of contentment that comes with that kind of shared journey. A gratitude, really. We are blessed and we know it. Whatever your faith, whatever grounds you spiritually, I believe that sense of purpose doesn’t come from us. It comes through us. And it carries a responsibility we don’t take lightly.
The Number That Changes Every Decision
Today ITBD supports 900+ families. That number sits in the room with us every time we make a significant decision. It was there during our annual planning sessions, during every QBR, and it was there in full force when the pandemic hit and we had around 500 families depending on us at that time. I remember the uncertainty of those early weeks, when no one knew what was coming and companies everywhere were making painful cuts. We called every single one of our customers and asked how we could help.
And we made sure every employee got paid, on time, without exception. Not because it was the easy call financially, but because that’s what you do when you understand what the privilege of leadership actually means.
The Assumption That Cost Us Months
Ed talked about something that hit close to home. He said that assumption is the mother of all leadership mess-ups. He stays accessible, keeps one email address, and lets the pulse of the organization come to him because he knows that bad news travels slowly and good leaders have to work against that. We learned our own version of that lesson this past January at our annual kickoff.
We were in leadership training, 2 days of intensive in person training per quarter, where training and listening carry equal weight. And we discovered that some of our leaders had been nodding along for months, managing KPIs they didn’t actually understand. Not because they weren’t capable, but because our service leaders had assumed comprehension without ever stopping to verify it. They’d never gone back to reinforce the why behind what was being measured and if it was actually understood.
That assumption cost us months of misaligned effort. And it was a reminder that listening isn’t a quarterly event. It’s the job.
Ed ran 100 listening sessions at Delta when they filed for bankruptcy in 2005, 200 people at a time, starting each one with an apology, because rebuilding trust after it erodes requires the leader to go first. We do something similar at ITBD, leadership training every other week, gathering our leaders regularly not just to develop them but to hear what’s actually happening in the organization, what’s hard, what’s unclear, what they need from us. Because the moment you stop listening is the moment you start assuming, and we’ve seen where that leads.
The Standard Worth Holding
Sunny and I talk often about how grateful we are for the community that ITBD has become. The team members who have invested in us, and in whom we have invested in return. There’s a pride in that which doesn’t come from revenue or recognition. It comes from knowing that the 900 families we support today feel the intention behind every decision we make. That we are an organization that treats the privilege of leadership as exactly that – a privilege – and tries every day to be worthy of it.
So, if you’re leading a team, a company, or even just one other person, I’d ask you this. Do the people who depend on you feel that you understand the weight of what you’re carrying? And are you making decisions that reflect it? Because that’s the standard. Not perfection, just intention, consistency, and the humility to keep listening.
